The book that's in your heart isn't always the book that will sell...
I’ve always tried to be transparent on this blog so that in future, other aspiring writers can read through it and take some encouragement from my long, winding journey to get published. This year has been a revelation, so I wanted to document it here, not only to complain, but to remind myself that I did a lot with very little.
WriteNow has been interesting, to put it lightly. I touched on a few things in the last blog, but I can expand on them a little more now. I was a bit crestfallen that after a year on the programme, I was no where closer to getting published. I asked my mentor when he thought I would be ready to submit TWENTY-NINETEEN to Penguin and he literally said he didn’t know. It made me depressed to go on twitter basically every day and see people who hadn’t entered any competitions like WriteNow receive offers of representation. Here I was on a hugely publicised programme feeling very lost and distant from my writing dream. In the end, I spoke to the facilitator, who was very kind and reprimanded my mentor, so I’m trying to go into next year with positive feelings.
We also had a frank conversation about the market right now. TWENTY-NINETEEN is a racial dystopia that uses Brexit and the pandemic as a launch pad for an oppressive cultural regime in the near future. Anecdotally, dystopias are a hard sell right now. She admitted that out of everyone, I would be one of the last to get published because publishers are no longer investing in dystopian fiction. It was difficult for me to hear this for a number of reasons: I was accepted on the programme with TWENTY-NINETEEN, and now the very people who chose the book no longer have confidence to put their money and marketing behind it. For such a painstakingly slow industry, it’s amazing how quickly trends can fall out of fashion.
Secondly, I had something to prove with this novel. After experiencing such ignorant views from an agent who clearly had a political axe to grind with the content of the novel, and who most likely felt personally offended and accused by the subject matter, I wanted it to go out to the world to show why these issues are important, and shine a light on conversations that white British people across the political spectrum just don’t want to have.
Finally, I literally started writing TWENTY-NINETEEN ten years ago when I was a student in Derby, feeling very lonely, isolated, and minoritised. I had not experienced so much racial ignorance in my life, and, coupled with Nick Ferrari’s daily three-hour-hate on the EU, immigrants, Muslims, and minorities on LBC radio, the story was born. When I heard the programme leader’s words about the current state of dystopian fiction, I chided myself for delaying so much, for not pursuing this story sooner, for not giving myself a chance and submitting it to agents years ago. I felt like I missed my chance.
There’s also the truth that publishing is extremely risk-averse. It’s fifty years behind other creative industries in terms of innovation and encouraging new ideas, creating space and support for independent authors, and exuding diversity. There is no way a big publisher would risk putting their money behind an unknown Black woman who isn’t even linked to any of the current influencers making waves. It’s sad, but this is the reality.
So, at the end of October, I had to think smart. I already had 26 000 words written for an urban fantasy called GETHSEMANE (the first book of which is called THE REAPER), which I mentioned in the last blog. In November, I finished the novel for NaNoWriMo. In December, I blitzed a second draft and it currently stands at 110, 000 words. I’m not wasting any more time. I’ll have a nice Christmas, go over the manuscript again, and then send it to my mentor. His experience (he edited for Terry Pratchett) will be invaluable. We’ll see whether Penguin believes that this is a story that will sell. I think it will, and I really enjoyed writing it. Also, I’m planning to get extra help with this from one of the Black Girl Writers mentors who was kind enough to advise me on my first draft synopsis a few weeks ago.
There are many Toni Morrison quotes that I have held close to my heart, but one in particular has been my mantra for many years:
If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it
Sometimes, the book you want to read doesn’t interest the people who could publish it. When that happens, you might have to make a personal sacrifice to choose the book that will sell. Thankfully, these don’t have to be mutually exclusive, and I am in love with GETHSEMANE, a book I have thought about, plotted, and considered for the best part of three years. But I think aspiring writers often receive sentimental advice like “write what’s in your heart” or “write what you want to read”, and so we do this and hit brick walls as those in the industry then start talking about “marketing difficulties” and “what will sell”. I wouldn’t want anyone to go into submitting as blindly as I have, and so I hope that this experience will educate others to preclude disappointment.
Regardless of what happens and the direction I chose from here on, I am excited for my future. I have two completed novels and I haven’t totally given up on TWENTY-NINETEEN. Maybe I can get it published after I’ve established myself with GETHSEMANE? Who knows. But I will not allow it to slip into obscurity.