I’ve been struggling for new reads lately, unsure of what kind of mood I’m in. I’m currently on a Sakamoto Days re-read triggered by the release of the anime, and everything else I’m reading is incomplete. On the manhwa front, it’s been hard to keep up with long-running series as so many of these webtoon sites operate on a points/coin system instead of the more affordable monthly subscription, which forces me to be stricter with what I choose to follow and support on that level.

I have no regrets with Legs That Won’t Walk by Black Apricot – another gangster themed BL that is as compelling, shocking, and as spicy as so many of my current favourites (Shutline, Wet Sand, and Twittering Birds forming my current trinity). I’ve been keeping myself sane by curating a social media that isn’t so skewered towards book news, so thanks to this dedication, my Instagram explore page features dozens of BL accounts. I’ve added so many series to my tbr based on the character screenshots alone, and that is how I found out about this amazing story.

Kwon Sooyoung is a promising amateur boxer who suffers a career-ending injury. Left with a mobility impairment, he further struggles with a controlling and abusive boyfriend, who is determined to keep him powerless and dependent. Sooyoung manages to escape and restart his life. During this difficult transition, he is confronted by Taesung – one of the city’s major gang leaders – who demands Sooyoung reimburse an unpaid debt left by his own deadbeat father, and Sooyoung finds himself trapped in the complicated web of organised crime, government conspiracies, childhood trauma, and an intensely toxic romance with Taesung. I use the word romance liberally here, as their relationship starts with an imbalance of power, slowly morphs into something resembling healthy, and then Taesung goes off the deep end in his obsession with Sooyoung, and like Sooyoung's ex, decides he wants him to remain helpless and dependent to the point of keeping Sooyoung literally chained and imprisoned in his house.

The artwork is what instantly drew me in to this series. Black Apricot is truly gifted – all the characters are beautifully drawn, and our main couple is absolutely stunning. The additional cast who add romantic tension or conflict to the plot (like Minhyuk) are equally magnetic. You can’t have a romance manhwa with only passable characters, and thankfully, Legs That Won’t Walk delivers on all counts.

There’s a pivotal moment in the story when Sooyoung attempts suicide to escape Taesung’s control, and the incident is a devastatingly sobering moment for Taesung. He slowly descends into a quiet, vengeful depression, angry and disgusted with himself, and upon Sooyoung’s recovery, orders former henchman Minhyuk to take Sooyoung far away, somewhere out of his reach and control.

Interestingly, we are thrown an amnesia trope here: upon awaking from his coma, Sooyoung doesn’t remember the events leading to his hospitalisation and can only vaguely recall a dark, Taesung-shaped shadow in his mind. Normally I hate amnesia tropes, but Black Apricot’s use of it here made me realise all the instances I’ve read previously have done it in a way I dislike. The amnesia usually comes from nowhere and feels like a sudden conflict thrown in by the author to avoid running out of ideas. By contrast, Sooyoung’s potential difficulties were foreshadowed earlier on in the story following another traumatic head injury, when the syndicate’s underground doctor warns Sooyoung that he has permanent brain damage that could lead to more serious issues in future.

The amnesia is integral to the plot. Unlike other stories where it’s used to create unnecessary drama between love interests, here it provides Taesung an opportunity to redeem himself. After he and Sooyoung accidentally bump into each other on the street, Taesung, despite his best efforts, cannot allow Sooyoung to leave his life for a second time. They become acquaintances, and we are shown insight into Taesung’s mind. He is dumbfounded to observe Sooyoung with new eyes, see him for the untainted, untraumatised man he once was – and this breaks him. We are then treated to Green Flag Taesung. He uses this opportunity to start afresh and properly court Sooyoung as a true partner would. It creates lovingly consensual chapters of delusion, where Taesung can pretend he’s a different person from a different world – a kinder variant of his true self, living a healthy life in a reality devoid of gang brutality. But eventually, Sooyoung’s memory returns, and he is tasked with deciding whether to abandon Taesung, or liberate him from his self-imposed torture.

This is not a lighthearted story. It deals with domestic violence, partner abuse, rape, assault, murder, suicide and suicide ideation and the dynamic between Sooyoung and Taesung is heavy on the noncon, which I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with. The sombre tone of the story, the very spicy sex scenes, and the well-balanced and easy-to-follow mafia subplot simply captivated me. There is a vast array of additional characters that equally impact the story – and special shoutout to the one and only Ms Hwang, leader of a rival syndicate and childhood friend of Taesung. I don’t think I’ve seen a female mafia boss truly owning shit and being as brutal and as calculated as the men in a gangster manhwa before, especially not a BL. She is amazing, and consistently saves the day, holding things down during Taesung’s many mental breakdowns.

If you’re into the above, give this a read. It’s another worthwhile contribution to the world of gangster BL.

9/10

Legs That Won't Walk (BL Manhwa Review, minor spoilers)